Wednesday, January 25, 2012


"Even when you threw my heart, I stayed wit' you, I did. I gave you all of me. I thought that we could be but you made a fool outta me." -Brandy

The older I become the more I'm learning about myself. For the longest I thought that I was a pretty self assured, secure person. I've always imagined and carried myself as a strong woman who didn't take any shit. But for the past 4 yrs of my life I have been spoon feeding myself bowls of shit for breakfast, lunch and dinner. 

I thought that by turning myself into the type of girlfriend that would hold my man down through thick and thin, be his support system, tolerate his insecurities/mood swings, fuck him in ever position imaginable and cater to his every need that would make me wifey material and he would see just how blessed he was to have me.
But when you're dealing wit' a person who doesn't value them self, god, humanity or the feelings of others you will never win! Which is why I'm sitting here writing this. You can not change a person. A person can only change themselves. You can give all of you into your blue in the face with the hope that your love will make them see the light but they never will.

And in the process of you giving your all and getting nothing in return your self-worth begins to deteriorate with each second that passes. The respect that you once demanded for yourself vanishes and you're left wondering why you're left picking up the broken pieces of your life.

This is the point I'm at. When you look at me you see a woman who looks to have it all.  Yes, I am successful, smart, gorgeous as hell, talented and a great mother but I too have issues that I am dealing with on a day to day basis. What I have determined is that I am ready to become a better me who values my own word and realizes the strength that I have deep within. 

I am becoming aware with each day that passes that I deserve to be loved whole heartily. I deserve to get back everything that I put out into the earth and into others.  


  1. this was deep!!! we all have issues or at least that one man that makes us feel like if only i did things this way... truth is we can never really change who we are for a person... we can try and mask it for as long as we can... but when that bell rings off in our ears... we're the only one's who hear it... and then only then we realize things didnt have to be this way... one day ill get all of nerve too... xoxo

  2. such beautiful make up! and thanks for the sweet comment on my blog!

    xo, nikki

  3. you look lovely! :): great necklace!

  4. Okay now Keisha tht was sum Serious shit u said rite here.But let me add jus one thg......When it comes 2 Bullshit & da Nigga's tht shovel dat shit it doesn't matta what we look lik how good we fuck them or how long we put up wit dey shit a Trifling ass nigga is gone b jus dat Str8 up Trifling!!!!U jus keep doing u!Shop til u Drop....Thts Rite Hunni Continue 2 Pop Tags & Party Like a Muthafuckin Rockstar!!!And I kno we gone get a BESTSELLER outta dis situation.N OTHA WORDS FUCK HIM GIRL!!!!

  5. You said a mouthful right there!!! It is sooo sad that people don't realize what they have when they have it but... #ontodanextone. I am soooo loving your blog and reading all of your post. You mentioned that you were a writer but maybe i overlooked the book or haven't got that far yet. Let me know the title (if I don't find it first)so i can check it out.

  6. Thank you so much. My book titles are Chyna Black, Mina's Joint, Hold U Down, Torn, Finding Forever, Material Girl, Material Girl 2: Labels and Love, The Untold Stories and Prima Donna. You can find them all on Kindle, Nook and in paperback.